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Holding an Edge
Recently we attended a fundraising auction where Craig, being the generous
person that he is, bought a ski trip to Yellowstone ski resort in Wyoming. We
would meet a well-known ski personality and entrepreneur and hang out with his
people. I love to ski, but I was not confident that I would be able to hold a
conversation with our new ski buddies all weekend. My spouse assured me that I
could talk the paint off a wall. Somehow, this did not make me feel better.
Most unusually, we managed to find our way to the hotel with very little
shouting in the car. After checking in, we drove to our host's house for dinner.
The hostess greeted us warmly and my conversation phobias dissipated. Our host
(well known ski personality) engaged me in conversation. Unfortunately I forgot
myself and blathered on about my prowess as a fine writer, and I then suggested
that he consider writing his memoirs. He dryly replied that he had nine books in
print, at which point he brought me a copy of one to keep. We sat together at
dinner and discussed the merits of self publishing. Craig was beside himself as
I was sitting in the spot of honor next to his idol. After a very pleasant
evening, our hostess asked one of her guests to give us a tour of the mountain
on the following day.
Our guide was a very chatty person and an all-around interesting fellow, I quite
liked him, but he made a critical error (paying more attention to Craig than to
me) when he admired Craig's great skiing form.
"Craig, you sure can hold your edges. Were you a ski racer in your earlier
years?"
"Well guide, as a matter of fact, I raced until ninth grade, and after that I
taught the little buggers some of the finer points of racing."
"You sure look great on the hill Craig," (brief sideways glance at me) "Oh and
Shawn, you keep up OK too".
Having just met this fellow I was at a loss for words. Surely I didn't look that
bad? I had been on the boards since age nine. I was not only keeping up, but was
ahead of Mr. Guide for most of the day. What the heck? I decided to ignore the
enthusiastic guide and enjoy my day.
Soon after our run, I told Craig that my "snack-o-meter" was running low. We
refueled and headed back out for some more skiing and the ongoing brag-fest
between the guide and Craig. On the chair ride to the top I was forced yet again
to listen about Craig's prowess as a fine skier.
"So, Craig, were you in the Olympic development program? You certainly can hold
those edges; I bet you were great in the gates!"
"Well guide, now that you mention it, I did ski with Steve and Phil Mahre. They
were in the Olympics. Does that count?"
This blathering went on until I began a coughing fit in order to put the
boasting to a stop. I got off the chair and threw myself down the hill with
great speed and finesse. Unfortunately, in order to get back up the hill I had
to endure another chair ride with the two ski pros.
"Say Shawn, how was that last run? It must have been a bit steep for you, as
that is the first time I have seen you hold your edges."
There was a rather long lull in the conversation and my fists began to clench
inside my mittens.
"You know Shawn, you are actually quite a lazy skier. I would classify you as
more of a slider, not a skier."
"It works for me. I'm going in for lunch. See you in about an hour - if you are
able to catch up to me with my smooth sliding technique." I am sure I said this
in a very civil tone.
As we offloaded from the chairlift the guide ran into me with his snowboard. We
both fell over, and I silently cursed all snowboarders, but especially the
guide.
I left the men in a fit of fury and hurled myself down the mountain. My
sliding/skiing technique worked better than ever. Eat my powder you edging
maniac!
Later, at lunch, I lamented to my hostess about my inability to hold an edge
with my skies. She retorted that it must have taken real talent to ski down the
hill with ones' skis flat and yet also go fast. I thought this over and decided
that perhaps she was right; after all, there was not a real need to edge as the
terrain was so easy! I was actually just conserving energy! Perhaps I could
create a new technique - something along the lines of: "Slide all day, ski the
lazy way!" I don't know, the scheme still needs work: but the revenge would be
so sweet.
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