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Family Christmas in Cozumel, Mexico
It started as a simple idea:
Why not go to Mexico for Christmas? No tree, no presents, no last minute stress
of getting just the right thing for someone for the Holidays. Yes, this was a
most excellent plan. My husband also liked the scheme; he is not so sure about
all of my relatives attending, but is gracious about my stinking family. My
sister, brother, cousin and their families love the plan. My parents initially
elected to stay home, but later decide to attend, rather miffed that we would
all desert them so readily for a warm climate.
Arrive in Cancun without incident; remainder of journey not pleasant. We next
take a ferry, with our six hundred bags laden with scuba gear. The various cab
drivers drop us off at the most inconvenient spots; we then have no practical
choice but to hire people to help us schlep our extra bags. This seems to be a
conspiracy by the cab drivers. Pick up stupid tourists and drop them off in the
middle of the street to carry massive overloaded bags. My son complains that his
three year old cousin "Baby" is not carrying his full share. Give him withering
look and tell him to march on. We are next dropped off at the end of a long
ferry dock where we again have to huff our bags a long distance. Sister-in-law
offers her children's cheese and crackers packages to the adults; we all dive at
the treat like vultures. Children go hungry. Everyone exhausted by the time we
climb into three cabs for an hour ride. Arrive at the hotel, crabby and hungry.
Make mental note to take plane directly to Cozumel on the next trip.
The purpose of our trip is to scuba dive, play tennis and enjoy the sun. The
older boys also make it their mission to take full advantage of the breakfast
buffet every morning. My son likens it to the Royal Pork which is one of his
favorite restaurants. The boys have successfully passed their three day scuba
certification with no mishaps. They brag about their prowess. Lose my temper
with my oldest son and call him an idiot in the Christmas spirit of things. As a
fourteen year old, he believes himself to be invincible. Remind him about
equipment failures, etc. He tries to look suitably chastened. On the first dive,
oldest son surfaces with one hundred pounds of air while younger son has over
seven hundred. Five hundred pounds is the minimum margin upon surfacing. Begin
to wonder who the more nervous diver is. Oldest son insists that the shark he
tried to swim down to caused him to over exert himself. Control myself from
smacking oldest son. Foolhardy sons emerge from the water in cork-like fashion,
dive master shouts at them for good reason. They have forgotten the slow safety
ascent that is critical when scuba diving. Both boys forget crucial scuba
technique of wiping snot from face before leaving water. Not a good look for
them. Husband takes some fetching pictures on the boat as I emerge from the
water looking very sylph like. Remind self to get new bathing suit that leaves
no rolls or "gathers" as husband likes to call my extra skin. The "gathers" do
not flatter my imagined sylph like appearance.
My daughter and her cousins also try their hand at scuba diving and do a
remarkable job of staying calm in the water. I observe them closely when they
proceed down to the beach and put on their gear. They all alternately pop up and
down while trying to descend to ten feet but not a one panics. Very impressive.
Believe they enjoyed tossing their newly braided hair about and looking for
people to admire them more than the diving. It seems they are rather like their
mothers in this regard.
Carlos Y Charlies attracts my sister, cousin, Mom and I like magnets. We are
dancers. The men are drinkers. We try all of our best moves which empties the
dance floor. Sister and I try freak dancing but get no claps from the audience.
Sister and her spouse dance on stage which looks like something between a hula
and the polka. A most entertaining dance. Employee of disco raps cousin on butt
with paddle as she dances with her image in the mirror. The mirror worked quite
well for her as her partner as it knew all four of her moves. I myself have only
two moves. Watch young girls freak dance and decide that this sort of dancing
requires absolutely no talent. It must be a dance invented by young men as there
seems to be some very close contact between partners. The sort of dancing would
never fly at my son's parochial school.
As my mom said in her Christmas letter, Christmas is really about being with
your family and sharing special times together. This will be a Christmas that I
will long treasure as we were all together, which was unusual. Twenty people and
not one argument excepting the usual contest about the loser who came up from a
dive with the least amount of air....all in the Christmas spirit of course.
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