Tom and I have reached our limits with running the Lake Chelan Boarding House for wayward teens. I don’t really like to cook and preparing meals for 15 plus people is my idea of purgatory. Our solution to this kitchen drudgery is genius—each of our three kids has their turn at a meal. How fun for them! Sort of like a new funny game. This of course includes, planning the meal, shopping, setting the table and of course, dish duty—no paper plates allowed and cold cereal does not make a meal. The first meal was rather tasty, teriyaki tri-tip, salad, and a fondue disguised as fettuccini.

Okay, my first spa treatment is accomplished…….barely. Who knew that visiting a deluxe spa could be so stressful? Enter a “quiet room” which is the equivalent of a quiet tomb before my scalp massage treatment. Anyone who attends the movies with me knows that I am not able to maintain silence let alone hold still for more than two minutes at a time. I pay good money for a movie ticket and believe it is my right to repeat aloud the lines I find most amusing. My husband disagrees and we don’t go to movies much anymore. Take a banana from the fruit bowl, a perfect pre-spa snack. Begin peeling banana which makes a very loud cracking sound. Old man in comfy looking chaise lounge gives me the hairy eyeball. Ignore him and commence to chewing. Good God, what has happened to my chewers? They have suddenly become obnoxiously loud. I am sounding like my daughter, Smackers. Try a sip of my water and find that I am unable to sip quietly and in fact have soiled my nice robe. Look longingly at old man in divan next to me; he has the perfect pre-spa chair. Make mental note to arrive earlier for next treatment.

Finally my spouse reached the ripe old age of fifty. I thought the day would never come, it is unsettling to be a year and a half older than your husband when the age of fifty draws nigh. Somehow my other half has a most unsettling way of looking the same as the day we married, some twenty-eight years ago. Almost like he has been preserved in bees wax at the ripe old age of twenty-one. What better place to celebrate than Amanpolo.

So, I’m heading out for a much-needed warm winter break, which requires purchasing a few things, namely shorts. Shorts that cover the danger zone otherwise know as U.U.P. (upper lumpy leg.)

We christened him, “Le Cork”, our Bora Bora scuba adventures continue . . .

Speeding out to the dive site, I struck up a conversation with one of my boat mates. Well, that’s not quite right, I talked and he nodded. I tried English and practiced my cave man French. No reply, only nods and grunts issued forth from my morose seatmate.

Echoes ring down the halls of the Serena Hotel, the three girls high-pitched voices on a ninety-degree decibel. The following morning we boarded a Cessna Caravan (the suburban of the skies) and arrived none the worse for the wear at a remote airstrip. At one point, a giraffe gracefully out-skirted us on the dirt runway making for an interesting landing. Bill Winters says that, landing on the dirt strip is one of the difficulties of running a safari operation because of the plethora of seemingly unaware four-legged creatures. Two Toyota Land-cruisers (custom modified chasse’s) await our landing, not only to make sure the runway is clear, but also to ferry us to our tented campsite.

This past month in Sun Valley, Idaho, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performed at the new Sun Valley outdoor pavilion to a full house.

Miraval is a destination health and wellness spa an hour outside of Tucson, Arizona, not only have they been voted, “Number 1 Spa” in Spa Finder magazine, they have also been featured in Conde Naste. It goes without saying, well I guess I just did say it, that Oprah has also voiced her approval for the spa and took fifty of her “best friends” to the resort for a girl’s getaway. This has only increased my desire to take annual or bi-annual trips to the spa. Most guests are returnees to the spa. The last time I visited the spa, there was a well know psychic there, her name is Maggie Garbarni. The one lecture that I attended was standing room only, or sitting room only as we were required to sit in a very large circle as she lectured about the meaning of psychic powers and intuition. Maggie also used numerology and tarot cards as aids.

Years ago, when we visited Turks and Caicos, we stayed at the Club Med – a good choice if you are young, poor and enjoy dancing to cult music every night. The “all inclusive” part of the deal lured us in too, but this year we have upgraded ourselves to a four star resort, hoping for a bathroom in our bedroom, and not down the hall as in days past.

October in Seattle can be lovely, but most of the time it is cold and rainy. People here often try to escape the lake size puddles and the fifty-knot windstorms for a few days to a warmer climate. We often talk about vacationing on a “live aboard” dive boat, but fear we would be the laughing stocks of the boat, the perpetual scuba losers. Like skiing, I like to dive if the conditions are perfect. This is not asking a lot in a sunny clime where the diving is right outside your front door. But here, the diving is right outside the front door BUT the ocean with the “big crashing waves” are also right outside the front door.