• Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

While perusing the shops of Burien the other day, I stumbled across a lightpost laying across the sidewalk. Hold on, what’s this and why isn’t it standing up like the other lightposts?
As I looked about for crushed and damaged cars or heaven forbid people, I see nothing that gives me an indication of what happened. I’m ready to offer my assistance in First Aid or perhaps use the “Kiss of Life” (hopefully the stranger is handsome,) but spy no one. There are no suspicious customers on the scene, in fact the streets are surprisingly empty for this time of day.

Did the yahoo mow everyone down? Hmmm. I entered the welcoming store of Cucina they know me well and inquire after my dogs, Mr. Big and Mr. Small. After a rousing doggy discussion we move on the important topic at hand. What do I want to buy? Now completely distracted, I spy a fetching and useful garlic press. Pleased with my purchase and nearly ready to leave the store, I suddenly remember the purpose of my visit. Ever the

What happened to the dead lightpost taking up most of the sidewalk?

Ever the dipomat, the store employee says; “I don’t think I was here that day.” “Well what day did it happen?” “I don’t recall.” Further questioning turns up no solid leads. “No worries, I’ll see you later.”Underwood/Undercover always gets her story. I have a snitch that I rely on when my interviewing skills defeat me. I’m not sure he’ll be around, it’s a bit late for him, but I decide to drive by anyway.

Sure enough “pumpkin-head” is residing in his old hangout, a well weathered bench with a view of passing traffic.

“Hey pumpkin-head, how are you doing? Did you enjoy the festivities on the 31st?”

“What? you feel neglected?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, why don’t you ask the guy with the long ears for a change of clothes? I think he visits around Easter.”

“Yes, I hear he’s pretty nice and he’s sure to have a spare set of clothes, but I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“There’s been a “hit” on one of your friends in B-town.” “The new lightpost has been taken out.” “Do you know anything about this? I mean who would do such a thing? Leaving a bran new post laying dead in the road like that, it’s not right.”

“Ask Jack?” “Jack who?” “Jack in the Box?” “Do you think Jack is responsible for the lightpost fatality?”

-After languishing for weeks in a hospital bed following a nearly fatal run-in with a bus, Jack, the iconic founder and namesake of Jack in the Box(r) restaurants, emerged from his coma earlier this week and made his first public appearance today. http://www.chainleader.com/article/CA6641782.html?industryid=47553

Thanks, pumpkin-head, my readers will be relieved, we just can’t have this type of destruction in b-town, and Jack is suffering the consequences of leaving his free standing restaurant. Theres enough room for everyone in b-town to improve their image. Jack has his new logo and the good people of Burien are excited to see our little town take shape as an up and coming city.

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